Yesterday morning 7:30 I took my very first shot at a black tailed deer.   He was a spike on the same trail as the morning before,  and I was now on a slash pile waiting for him full camo.  Same time he came off the road,  around my pile and whack.  From 6 maybe 7 yards and 10 feet above him,  I hit him right where i wanted to,  just behind the shoulder.   The arrow penetrated with an unforgetable sound.  I don't know exactly penetration depth but not nearly what I was expecting,  not that i knew what to expect.  I'd save several inches.   Boom,  he was gone not knowing what happend,  full speed through the 5 year old clear cut,  and into the forest.   I never saw any blood when I hit him, not that i had time to.  I've never seen a deer move like that.    I gave him 20 minutes,  made a phone call for some help and went after him.   nothing...   not a thing..   I think i know where he went into the bush,  but nothing.   no arrow, no blood.     I searched 4.5 hours,  went home had lunch and came out for another 2.5.   
speaking with hunter friends/family I heard their stories,  about the one they didn't find.  
I think it's healing to share this with people who understand.
i've relived it many times today,  i coulda taken the heavier bow,  the broadheads coulda been sharper,  but when i think about it.  I was ready,  I was prepared, and I was in his domain,  and I wanted him.  but for some reason it wasn't meant to be.
I am unsure of continued hunting with the bow right now.  I still love making bows,  but I may take out the shotgun next weekend.   
I know it's a journey and it isn't supposed to be easy,  and I am ok with that.