I'd tell him to get his
10 7yr old daughter to make him a papier mache one with lots of sequins and sparkles and dayglo paint.
That would probably satisfy his abysmal taste.

I think you can quite justifiably feel insulted, (or I'm willing to feel insulted on your behalf

)
Del
PS. My pat hate is people who say... oooh Penobscot, that's like a compound isn't it?...
Arrrrghhh no... It's the damn opposite....

calm calm... must have tea...