I have the answer to life
Though I dont deserve the oxygen I breath, my God always has helped me when I need it. Though I fear I am always the prodigal son. This time I have to myself has given me much oportunity to think, dangerous as that past time seems to be, I have done plenty of it.
I have always been very good at barely getting by. By that I mean, while the future was always bleak we never were faced without what we needed, though we had to get creative at times. I am always looking forward to the big break, to finally be successful. But then two days ago, I tried to imagine what it would be like, to have all I need, a good job, a savings account, a full fridge ( a place to put the fridge), and more than a few changes of clothes for my son, shoes without holes in them, an address...
All these wonderful thoughts, but then, well.... exactly that. Then what? I have spent my entire adult life, one crisis to the next, one disaster and then another, when times were good, I was so stressed about them ending I could never enjoy them. If times ever get stable and good for me, I dont know what to do. If i knew they were permanent, like I get rich or something, I would get very bored and depressed. I only know how to struggle. I dont know how to be successful.
So I thought to myself and to God. What, what if I have not been successful for that very reason? Surely I am not here to just exist then die. What is my usefulness? And the thought came to me, if ever I am able to finally be able to constantly without struggle, care for my family, I will struggle for those who cant. My closest family, the people on this planet I feel most commected to the moment we meet, have always been veterans. I will work to make their lives better.
Tonight I was walking around walmart bored because work got off early today. I walked out of walmart after buying a discount pumkin pie and a little bottle of milk ( im a fat giy who works hard dont judge ). I was walking out behind an air force captain and crossing the parking lot when a car stopped behind me and the driver called out to me.
"Excuse me! Sir, are you a vet?" Well, of course I am, so I replied with a yes sir. He asked me if I could help him out, he was a vet headed from the oklahoma city VA to salina, and didnt have the gas to make it, and would I mind helping him out. He was an older gentleman, and didnt very much like asking for help, but obviously needed it. The VA has forms to fill out to pay you back tje cost kf driving but he didnt realise he wouldnt be reimbursed that day, that it would be weeks, and he was on social security and struggling. I told him, after asking to see his VA card ( people do lie about that, and deserve a swift kick in the teeth ), Kd help him out. We went to the station, I filled his car up, he thanked me very much and said he didnt need that much just enough to get home. I told him I was miking it my mission in life to help vets and I am honored to help him.
Guys, helping people always makes you feel good, and it is an honor to be in a postion of ability to help. But now, I think I know why I am here, and I dont believe it is any coincidence that within days of praying, this fellow out of the blue asks me if I am a veteran, that he is too, and needs help. I am honored to be able to and pray I will always and be able to do more.
I hope this isnt too religious, though I doubt it. Wasnt really discussing religion, only basis for my thoughts.
