In the army, I saw dudes that passed up bacon to eat SOS. In my earnest investigation of the culinary delights of mess hall cuisine, I tried the infamous "chipped beef on toast" (except the 101st Airborne chow halls were using hamburger instead of chipped beef, or at least I thought it was hamburger, who knows what it was, probably not even the mess SGT himself knew.) And I could never understand why anyone would pass up bacon for this swill. I meditated at length upon this one time in a deuce-and-a-half coming back from a night fire exercise. Some dudes blew out the range marker light on that one, but I digress. We won't discuss the crew that blew away a deer on the M-60 range. And I still could not fathom why anyone would pass up all that bacon for SOS. Of course, only the lifers were eating it after drinking bad coffee in top's office. I mean, you could have bacon every day in the army. Or at least you could when I was there in the 1980s. If the army had thought to make bacon MREs, they could have really upped the retention rate. That's the only reason we won the Cold War. Bacon. It's true. I was there.
