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Offline thomas h

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if ya love the south
« on: June 15, 2011, 11:04:27 pm »
found this else where thought it very funny and wanted to share with ya.

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an
eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"


Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice,
so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia
and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would
you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes,
I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in
Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."


Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded
to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the
car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and
went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and
flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right
over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

***
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an'
movin' North.

 
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Offline Josh

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2011, 11:12:41 pm »
 ;D
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Offline JW_Halverson

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2011, 11:25:07 pm »
"Everthang but my earrings."

Hehaw!  I've already forwarded these to half a dozen friends.  Thanks, I really needed this tonite.
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Offline mullet

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2011, 01:06:04 am »
",,nobody retiring up North." Guess why Florida wasn't included in this list. ;D

Reminds me when I got pulled over by the DNR in South Carolina leaving Chris Cades farm hunting. They asked me if I had any deer in the cooler and I said, "yep, two". They got a big grin on their face and said, "let's see 'em". So, I opened the cooler and they looked at me and wanted to know where? I said, " right there, two Miller Lites". They have different accents then we do in Florida. ;D
« Last Edit: June 16, 2011, 01:14:59 am by mullet »
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Lakeland, Florida
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Offline Rick Wallace

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2011, 02:36:15 am »
 ;D  Hey Mullet,Where does the accent line in Fl change?  I think around Gainsville  ;D  Then you start going North !! ;D
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Offline mullet

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2011, 09:52:30 am »
And around Lake Placid, going south, then your in Latin America. ;)
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Lakeland, Florida
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Offline stickbender

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2011, 03:36:48 pm »

     Ok, Thomas, here's one for Alabama.  My mother was from Alabama, and my Father was from Georgia, and my Brother and I were born here in Florida, but on to the Alabama story.  The first woman president was elected, and not only was she the first woman to be elected to be President, she was the first person from Alabama to do so.  So a few days before her inauguration, she phoned her Father, and said, Dad I would really like for you be here for my inauguration ceremony.  Her Father said, wellll, I don't know if the ol truck will make it that far.  She said no problem, I have transportation all arranged for you.  He said, well, you have to get all gussied up fer them thangs, and I don't have that fancy of a jacket.  She said no problem, I have a tuxedo all ready for you, and I would really love to have you here for the ceremony, so he agreed, and on the day of the inauguration, her Father is sitting in the front row, right next to one of the Supreme Court justices, and the Father nudges the judge, and says you see pretty little gal up thar taking the oath of office?  And the Supreme court judges says with a smile, why yes sir I sure do.  The Father says, her brother plays football for Auburn! ;D
 
                                                               Wayne
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Offline thomas h

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2011, 05:16:10 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D you bet,
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Offline JackCrafty

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2011, 05:38:52 pm »
 ;D
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Offline okydoky

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Re: if ya love the south
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2011, 06:58:49 pm »
So, the county deputy pulled me over, asked if I had any papers..."no sir, I prefer a pipe myself"  So sayeth my son to a Okla. county mounty!
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Don't outsmart your common sense!
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