I have to admit even I chuckled a bit.  When my first (and only) red oak bow started ticking on the tillering board, I suddenly realized I had it sitting below my wife's treasured original Audobon print with high-dollar museum glass.  I ran over, risking life and limb and sprinted with it into the garage--where it exploded.
Even so, it at least had the good grace to end up in two pieces.  Lord help us, PD--it looks like the  splinters have little piles of sawdust lying around!  I hope you do your own laundry. 😊
Russ