Primitive Archer
Main Discussion Area => Around the Campfire => Topic started by: JW_Halverson on August 21, 2014, 10:36:24 pm
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Seriously?? So I'm at one of those chain pet supply store buying a bag of dog food. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. I lost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms."
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet. "All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I am going to try it again." (I should add that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, this woman asked if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt, and a car hit me." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Now that you've read this, I have to confess...I copied it. Now copy and paste. Make someone else laugh...
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JW ....you are a nut...!!!!!!!..... :) :) :)
DBar
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That was funny, I can go to bed now with a smile on my face . :laugh: :laugh:
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That was funny, I can go to bed now with a smile on my face . :laugh: :laugh:
Perfectly said.
And some of my fb friends are getting couple giggles too.
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Oh Man - I'm gonna have "Perma- Grin" the rest of the Morning ! Thanks JW - Bob
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Yep that's my boy,need that this morning JW. :) :)
Pappy
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Haaa haa ha! Good one. :laugh:
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Good one this morning.
Grandkids are always asking me" what are you doing papa" when I am busy whether it is digging a hole or fletching arrows. My pat answer is," I am playing cards". They laugh and say, "no your not" and then go one doing what they do.
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I always swore by 25 o/o protein for my hunting hounds.
That was all they needed to be champions.
But then there is the Interstate Bridge release.
Some bikers were riding down the interstate when they saw a girl about to jump off the River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down
off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby..... whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!"
George didn't want to miss this (he's-a-legend opportunity) so he asked...
"Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe... Why don't you give ole George here
your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that...
And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
"Wow! "That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey!"
" That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts."
"You could be famous if you rode with me."
"Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
The kisser answered----
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a sexy girl."
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It was not ruled a suicide after that!
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lol I knew it was comming I just didn't know from what direction,,,,thanks I needed that JeffW