I don't wanna throw cold water on everyone, but be sensitive about collecting family history. In college, as part of a genetics course, we had to collect and diagram our family relationships. My father has always been a cold and tight-lipped man, but I went around him and gathered information from external sources.
The stories I got were hair raising, to say the least. I tracked all 38 living and dead family members from his side back to my grandparents and that's exactly where the trail went cold. I submitted my diagram for the class and took my grade.
A year later I was called by a woman that said she believed we are related. I told her I really doubted it, but sure, let's compare notes. She arranged to meet with me later in the summer as she and her husband drove across the country on vacation. She brought computer print outs of the genealogy going back to the ancestor that immigrated from Norway in 1872. My family on my father's side expanded from 38 living and dead to over 400 in America alone.
She was very careful ask me if I was going to handle this well if I got information that was disturbing or painful. She explained there was a lot of pain, anger, and even violence associated. I agreed to not hold her responsible, seeing as neither she or I were part of the drama. In short, our branch of the family tree was "pruned" off. Let's just say that when my father found out I knew about our family history the very poor relation he and I have always had was over.
I am no longer welcomed home for family events, half the family tolerates me at best (most of them have not been exposed to the family history), and the others are openly hostile. It's not any great loss to me, as we were never much of a close family to start with. The generational dysfunction really rides our family hard.
When you start probing family history, be sensitive. Remember that sometimes a lie is the kindest truth.
