Movie Night For The Married Man

[Dharma]

Q: What's the difference between a chick flick and having cavities filled?
A: You get anaesthetic when you get cavities filled to deaden the pain.

Wife: Wanna watch a movie?
Husband: I'll answer that this way. Are there tanks, firearms, swords, or bows in this movie?
Wife: No.
Husband: There's your answer.

Q: Bob is sitting someplace when an air raid siren goes off, announcing inbound thermonuclear weapons, time to impact, ten minutes. Bob breathes a sigh of relief and thanks his lucky stars. Where is Bob?
A: Ten minutes into a romantic drama at the movies his wife dragged him to.

Q: What are the two worst words in the world to hear on movie night?
A: Romantic comedy.

Q: What is the medical definition of a chick flick?
A: An emetic.

[chamookman]

AMEN Brother ! Just another reason I've been single for 25 years  . Bob

[Pappy]

yep we have TV's , up stairs and down,1 for her 1 for me.
   Pappy

[Dharma]

The Oscars: The only time crimes against humanity are celebrated instead of punished.

Hostage Situation: The in-flight movie is a romantic comedy.

Best New Invention for 2015: Theater ejection seat for bailing out of chick flicks.

Wife: C'mon, honey, the TV previews of the movie look cute! I bet it'll turn out to be a great movie!
Husband: Yeah, well, I bet Stalin's parents thought he looked cute when he was a baby and look how that turned out.

Wife: Now you watched Captain Corelli's Mandolin with me! Why is this movie different?
Husband: Because at least there some firearms in that movie and a war going on! I could overlook the chickiness of it for the opportunity to criticize the historical authenticity of the weaponry.

Wife: So what's it going to take to get you to a romantic movie with me? A story about two tanks that fall in love with each other?
Husband: Yeah, well, that'd be a good start. If---IF---the tanks are historically correct and they don't start going into one another's issues and baggage.

Wife: Oh, baby, there's a great new movie out! It's about a---
Husband: ---successful career woman who falls in love and how she has to figure out if her career or the man of her dreams is more important.
Wife: Oh, you SAW this movie already?!
Husband: No. That's been the premise behind the last FIVE movies we saw!

[Dharma]

They found that Iran is already in possession of one of the most horrifying things known to man. They found the tracking number for a DVD collection of Sex and the City episodes and it was delivered to Iran. This has already been banned for use in enhanced interrogations as cruel and unusual. It's effectiveness is without question since even the toughest man has been unable to sit through one episode before pleading for mercy. The show was also implicated in the "Sex and the City Riots" in Egypt when a TV technical error accidently broadcast a Sex and the City Marathon and bumped a televised soccer match in the process. Troops and tanks had to be called out to restore order, but crisis counsellors were on scene to counsel men who had accidently viewed more than ten minutes of the show. They had mistakenly thought it was a commercial for feminine bath soap or perfume in the beginning and the soccer match would be back on shortly. By the time they realized what they were watching, it was too late. Some men were left unable to speak while others sat repeating the phrase, "The horror...the horror..." over and over again.

[mullet]

I thought Chick flicks had lot's of naked chicks

[Dharma]

Nah, chick flicks are usually movies about a woman who falls in love with a guy, but she has a career and needs to decide between the two. Or a group of woman friends that make consistently bad choices in men then sit around whining about it. Things like that.