Hmmmm, other than the usual as a kid...... shooting arrows straight up, and waiting for them to come back in sight, so we could get close enough to them to hear the "Robin hood" arrow sound, as the air passed over the vanes....... not a whole lot of bow stories, in the dumbest thing category, but in the black powder, and knife category......
Well, when I was about 13 or 14 years, old, I made a powder horn. I didn't have any black powder. Buuuuuut.....
I did have some M-80 powder, I had dumped from some M-80's. So I now had a real powder horn! But what good is a powder horn, if you don't have a gun to dump the powder down the barrel, like in the movies? Wellllll, as luck would have it, I had an old single shot muzzle loading shotgun, my Grand Father had given me. It was a cap and ball, he had when he was a kid. It was an original!
Half stock. Complete with termite holes in the stock. After cleaning it up, including removing some old powder from it, I had a neat old gun. Well, now I decide to shoot this old gun. so at first, I was taking 410 shells, and dumping the powder from that, into the gun,( I mean after all powder is powder, right?
) and some paper wadding, and the bird shot from the shell, and some more paper wadding. Hmmmm, no caps, for the nipple.
Ooooooh, Greenie Stickem caps, for cap guns! Tah dah! Worked like a charm!
My Dad suggested that I not use the 16, or 12 gauge shells I had on hand also. Well, one day, after having shot this old gun a few times, I don't have any more 410 shells. Hmmm, powder horn.....
Well, I go and get it, and go out on the back porch, and my Dad says what are you going to do now? I said shoot Grand Pa's old gun. Having seen me shoot it before, he didn't see any problems. Uh..... He didn't know what was in the powder horn. Well, I dump the contents of the horn into the gun, and some paper wadding, and a pretty loose fitting steel ball bearing, and some more paper wadding, and a Greenie Stickem cap, and raise the gun up and aim at a distant tree, in a vacant lot, and pulled the trigger......BOOOOOOMMMMM Son of a $$#@$$@!!! I look down, and my Grand Father's old gun is lying on the porch steps, separated from the stock, and the barrel has "LUCKILY" for me blown out at the "BOTTOM"of the breech, and the barrel has a slight curve upward!
Oh yeah, My left forearm is bleeding, and has an entrance and exit wound, with lots of shrapnel, and wood splinters, which I would later be forcing through the scar tissue, as I sat in class in school, upwards to a couple of years later. In fact I noticed a month or so ago, a slight dark spot in the center of the scar. Could be more material working it's way up. Been a LOOOOONG time.
Well after the rather loud explosion, My Mother yells what the heck was that? My Father being the descriptive perfectionest he was, yelled back, oh Wayne just blowed his arm off! Well she didn't take that too calmly. So I am sitting in the doctor's exam room as he is picking out bits and pieces of various antique shrapnel, and debris. No one went to ER in those days, you just went to your doctor, and he decided if you needed to go to the ER. Well I still kick my butt for being a stupid typical teenager, and destroying My Grandfather's old muzzle loader. OK. Knives! Well again at about 13 or 14 or so, some friends and I are practicing our knife throwing , and were actually doing pretty good at sticking the one foot square piece of plywood, that was leaning against the rear tire of my Dad's work truck. Well we getting pretty smug about our knife skills, when I threw my Curved blade hunting knife I got from Western Auto, and it was actually a very good knife. Anywho, I proceeded to throw the knife, and darned if the the piece of plywood didn't dodge the knife, it stuck just pretty as you please in the side wall of My Dad's truck tire! After he in a not so pleasant manner questioned my common sense of putting the board against the tire......which at the time, I wondered that too, but then reasoned, I hadn't missed the board before, and we were only about 20 feet away.... how could we miss? Ok, BB gun wars, without eye, or ear protection, or any other protection. After about an hour of shooting each other, and being shot, we kind of came to a mutual consensus that it was not the smartest thing to be doing so we stopped. Thankfully. My Guardian Angel had a tag team partner when I was a kid. I hope that won't count against me when I take my last breath.
It wasn't like it was intentional or anything.
Oh, yeah, here is a real primitive bow story. I was about 12 years old, and had a fiberglass bow, and some home made bamboo arrows, with hacksaw blade arrowheads. Well I am up in Wisconsin, on my Uncle's dairy farm, and roaming the fields, when I see this skunk go ambling by, and I remembered my Aunt talking about the skunks getting into the hen house, and eating the eggs. Well, now MR. Predator Control has arrived. I take aim, and a perfect shot. Not an immediate killing shot, so I launch another arrow, and finally kill it. Boy did it stink! Well I proudly take my prize kill back to my Aunt and uncle's house. My mother has a fit, my Dad is not too thrilled, but my Aunt and uncle think it is hilarious, and glad to see one of the egg thieves out of action. Well I spent about week of my Vacation scrubbing, and eating alone
There were the usual, fire arrows, and exploding arrows, with the M-80's attached, and the Guava grenades, we would have wars with. You know stick a fire cracker in a ripe Guava, light it and throw it at your Buddy. Realistic looking, complete with seed shrapnel, and the pulp looked like you were wounded!
Then there is the time when I was in my mid 20's, and I was sharing a house with a Buddy of mine, and another Buddy and his Wife, and and another couple come over. Well there is some alcohol involved.....
Well one of my Buddies, decides to get on the roof, and proceed to relieve himself, by watering my awning. Well, I was about to get the hose, when he drops his pants and is getting ready to drop a load on my awning!
Well I run back in the house to my room, and get a little S&W .38 snub nose revolver, I had loaded with wax bullets to shoot raccoons that were getting in the garbage, well I run out there and I shoot at him with the wax bullet!
Well just as I fired, he turned his head to see what I was doing, and the wax bullet whacked him under his left eye, and gave him a nice little shiner. It was not a load for accuracy. I was actually aiming for the little man in the moon so to speak.
anyway it had the desired affect of him not leaving anything on my awning, and almost knocking off the roof. Luckily it didn't hit him in the eye directly. Well that .38 caliber snub nose with a wax bullet, has gone all the way up to a .44 cal mag, in his retelling of it. If I am there when he tells it, I correct him, and tell the listeners that it was only a wax bullet from a .38 cal. snub nose. He then goes into a big production of "Yeah, Only a .38! Anyway, he is not Mr. innocent himself, having shot a mutual friend of ours in the back my home made blow gun, and a dart made from a artist paint brush shaft, and horse needle. Dead center between the shoulder blades. He did take him to the doctor to get a tetanus shot, and told the Dr. what happened. Yep Doc, ol Barney there walked right in front of us while we were shooting at targets. He seemed to forget the part, that there was alcohol involved, and Barney had my sling shot and was popping Stu in the rear with rocks. Stu disappears, and Barney asks where he is, and I honestly don't know myself. Well Barney goes sneaking around the carport, and when he had gone about 20 ft. or so, just like in the movies, from behind one of the carport columns, I see the end of my blow gun proceed to extend outward, and then phhooot! Ol Barney is hit dead center between the shoulder blades!
He stops mid stride, and then folds down to his knees, and says take it out, take it out!
Well Stu pulls it out, and then apologizes, and goes into how he only meant to shoot in front of him.......
Anyway, that is some of the Dumbest things, I've done, and participated in.
Wayne
