A guy in work got a t-shirt on his honeymoon last year in America...
"Friends don't let friends buy red tractors"
A John Deere t-shirt
Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were stranded on a desert island in the Pacific.
Paddy Englishman was walking on the beach one day when he tripped over an old lamp. He dug it out of the sand and brought it back to his two friends to show them.
As it was being passed around from hand to hand, the sand being rubbed off; smoked billowed from the spout and a Genie appeared and granted them each one wish...
Paddy Englishman was first to speak: "I wish I was back home with my loving wife and family..." he said. The Genie snapped his fingers and *POOF*, Paddy Englishman disappeared.
Paddy Scotsman spoke up next: "Ah wish Ah wur back haime tae, in th'airms o' mah bonny lass an' the we'ans aboot th'floore". Another snap, another *POOF* and he too disappeared.
Paddy Irishman took a few moments... Looked about him at the surrounding island, thought for a few seconds then said:
"Oi wish me two pals wer' back heeyar wit' me... Oi'm ahfle lonely boy meself!!"
